Life of the Navy Wife


My life. Ugh. End of story. It’s so stressful. I was married previously to a jerk who was in the Army, he was stationed in Germany and I was stuck behind in South Dakota, alone and pregnant, but I did fine. I believe it was the thought that I had done everything else in my life for so long all alone, and the fact that I knew he was truly nothing to me. He treated me like the scum under his boot, and caused me to go into premature labor. This second time around to being married in the military is so much harder. I married my best friend, a person I’ve known and cared about for years and am now stuck in a town 10x as big as Rapid City, and alone with only him as a friend. I’ve made 2 friends, and both are leaving to go to another post, and I’m afraid to make any new friends since we will be stationed some place new in November. It’s a hard concept to wrap my head around, that all friends I make I will sooner or later have to say goodbye. I left for my daughter’s visitation 2 weeks before he had to leave, he left 3 days before we arrived back home, and been gone ever since. The first time I spoke to him was last night via Facebook but for a very short period of time. They have been gone a total of 3 weeks now. My daughter is driving me crazy, and all I do is sit and think. Think about if he is okay, eating well, sleeping alright. Think about the next deployment and how much harder it is going to be. I was with him on his second deployment, and the third is coming up soon. There is that rumor he wont be going, will be staying behind to help things out here since we are leaving shortly after the deployment begins but it’s not for sure… My life has completely changed since we had eloped. I have no job and stay at home all day, when all I know is work. I’ve never been so bored of life.

I remember the last deployment I was driving to Sioux Falls to visit some friends, and I received a phone call that said I needed to pull over. They told me that there was a possibility that something happened to him, his dad had hung a flag in his yard and some officers went to his door. I panicked. It was a short lived rumor once I reached his brother. But it was one of the most horrifying moments in my life. It’s amazing what a simple rumor that friends will start will cause, the heartbreak I felt and the relief that washed over me when the rumor was dis banned.  It really does suck. It hurts and it’s terrifying. But I am a strong person, and I need to keep my mind open to possibilities of where our new life will take us.

This life is one of many things. Fantastic yet horrible, uplifting but so depressing, reassuring yet terrifying. It’s something that all military spouses must go through. The thought that their loved one may not come home, or may be leaving for long periods of time missing vital times in their child’s life. Or that their soldier would come home with such horrible post traumatic stress disorder that they must be hospitalized. Most people don’t realize that we the spouses go through a lot with our loved ones, that we are soldiers in our own way as well. We have to be strong and positive for our loved ones and be there whenever we are needed. We are bombarded with protesters, as if we have the right to say “no” to war, no to helping other countries regain their lives. Without our soldiers there may be no peace or rights for us as the people in this country. If soldiers had a choice, I can almost promise you they are there to help, and if given the opportunity to come back to their loved ones, they would do it in a heart beat.

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