Posts tagged hawaii

Going Dark

I know this is probably the stupidest thing ever, but I’m done with Facebook for now.

There has been so much drama, nasty comments, judgement, etc. that I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve officially shut out facebook. My account is there so as my family wont freak out (yes, I have those grandparents on facebook), but I will go nowhere near it for the next week minimum, even deleted the app off my phone.

I have so much going on my life, and the support is just not there anymore from some of those I counted on. I have one gal I rely on greatly for comfort, who has done nothing but continually insult me and make me feel completely stupid. I mean, I can’t even vent about a situation without feeling like I’m totally in the wrong or just being selfish, all I want is someone to respond simply with a “Gee, I’m sorry that sucks dude”, is it that hard?

When did facebook become an insult site? Why has it escalated to the point of ridiculing people, hurting others, and just all out giving someone the right to be a full-blown bitch?  I honestly believe that people are “bitches” on facebook simply because they don’t have to back up their statements. If you were in a real life situation and came at me with an attitude saying I was wrong, or I was being selfish, simply because a random thing happened that I was venting about, I would deck you. Full out. I didn’t ask for an opinion. I asked for someone to simply listen. I guess I just don’t understand. I mean… When I say something on facebook, I make sure I have proof to back up my statement, but I never tell someone they are wrong when they are venting, give my 2 cents? Yes, but they are within that grey area of acceptable statements that don’t push either direction.

Anyone of importance who needs to get ahold of me has my chat account and my phone number. I have no patience for Judgemental and rude people, especially right now with all the upcoming stress. Having my daughter leaving in a couple of weeks is nerve wrecking as it is, and on top of it I can’t be overly stressed with the “attempt” at baby making/ fertility treatments (as per doctors orders!). All I get is stressed, angry, and just all around flustered.  So, I have decided going dark is going to be something I desperately need. I’ll be regularly checking up on this bad boy since this will now be my outlet until I decide it fit to go back to that god awful networking site…. and then while my daughter is gone I’m going to go get lost in the woods of Hawaii, camp at  a waterfall, and just shut everyone out. I guess this has just been building up, and I’ve finally had enough. I’m just… done.

I hope ya’ll have a great weekend!


The victim of a crayon eating dinosaur.


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One Happy Hooker

Hah, I bet that title got your attention. Pervs.


I have come to the conclusion that I absolutely adore crochet, I love the random little projects I make, and now have gotten into amuragami, even though it’s just one pattern I’ve done twice (and now working on a third time), but I am starting a couple new ones for my daughter and my neighbor. I’ve done start blankets, ripple blankets, granny squares, the list just goes on. It’s something that I enjoy. It calms me down, and I love passing them on to friends and family and seeing their reactions. I figured I’d throw this out here, and attach a few of my projects that I love love love love.

I’m getting ready to start on my sisters blanket, with a pattern I received from a fellow blogger, and once I figure out how to attach her to this, I definitely will. It’s called a “wool eater”. And it’s an amazing pattern that I am anxious to get started on, and my sister is anxious to receive. Although, her “colors of choice” are going to require sunglasses, and I’ll probably be seeing weird colors for a while (all… neon… rainbow… wee!).


I’ll keep posted on the progress as I go, as I’m going to be a busy bee the next few weeks. My ex’s mom and sister are coming to visit the 27th for a week, and then we have 3 weeks with no munchkin since they are taking her back to South Dakota with them for our visitation agreement. So during the week they are here, there will be lots of hiking, snorkling, parasailing, and all that touristy stuff, and then the 3 weeks they are gone will be a lot more hiking, snorkling, and all that fun stuff that we normally can’t do while the kiddo is here.

Graduation was… well, graudation. It was super nice, just wish family would have been able to come, it would have made it much more worth it. I’ll have my bachelors in about a year, and then I have decided to move on with my masters, weeeeee school loans >.<
Rayne is about done with T-ball, only one more session left, 😦 It’s sad. but she is determined to get into soccer, and we are definitely getting her signed up with dance classes when she gets back from SD.


Did I also mention she turns FOUR on the 27th?  Sad, sad day… She’s growing up wayyyy too fast…


Anyways here’s some projects I’ve completed, graduation picture, and my daughters t-ball picture, since she’s friggin adorable.


Round Ripple

Star baby Afghan


Baby Girl Hobbes doll (pink/green). Matches the Star Afghan


Baby Girls T-Ball Picture ( picture of a picture, excuse the quality)

Hooray for me! Associate of Arts with Concentration in Criminal Justice. BOOYAH!



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Little Piece of Paradise

With how often I blab about hating Hawaii, I have to admit it really is quite beautiful… I’ve decided to upload a few photos I’ve taken since I’ve been out here, Mind you most are of the kiddo, but eh! She’s cute so it’s okay. On a side note, I have actually begun enjoying living here. I gave up on being miserable, and have decided to just make the best of it, especially since we are going to be here the next 2 1/2 years. People always comment on how I’m so “lucky” to be living in paradise, or how I should be greatful to live in a place so wonderful, but I just can’t bring myself to actually feel like I’m living in paradise. I am a regular citizen, living in a city (mind you 2.3 miles from the beach which is a plus), struggling to make ends meet, and it doesn’t exactly help much that I have no car and my husband works clear over at Pearl Harbor. I’m gonna get there though. I have a few health issues to work through and then I will be back on the boat of getting into shape, playing more with the kiddo and the crazy pup, and of course making my way around the island and truely exploring the culture. I’ll get there. and I’ll make this my own personal paradise. Sooner or later 😉

Beach day

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January 31, 2012 · Filed under Uncategorized · Tagged , , ,

I forgot I had this page. and So much has happened since that last post. The attempt to quit smoking epically failed. I was doing good until just under a week before June 1st, when my husband came home and told me he was deploying in  a week. I’ve never felt so heartbroken in my life. It was as if my life came crashing down, and the feelings of being alone in a place where I knew no one terrified me.
I managed to make it work. The day he deployed, I packed my dog and daughter up and we made the horrible drive from California to South Dakota to stay with family for a month. Thank goodness my (2 year old at the time) daughter was an excellent co-pilot for the trip. she kept me awake and we had a blast pretending we were on an adventure. It was great to see my mom, spend time with my nephew, and to see all my friends again. Although it was short lived when my daughters biological father decided he was going to make a statement which included something of “I’m going to commit suicide” after dropping her off after the 4th of July fireworks… Thank goodness she stays with her grandparents, and they showed up shortly after. I met up with him the next day to talk about everything, and I spoke with his mom (who is close to being my own) about his issues and my concern for him needing help. The next day we headed back to California for my daughter’s safety, and for my own. Plus we had a cat that apparently really missed us while we were gone.

We spent an additional 3 months alone at the house, I learned I had broken my foot, so gimping around while taking care of a 3 year old, a cat, a dog, and doing all the house things was highly difficult, and on top of it the orders for Hawaii came in so I had to get all the Overseas Screenings and such completed, by myself. Mind you, this was new to me. I had NO idea what the hell I was doing, I just grit my teeth and did what I was told.

That deployment was 100 times worse than the first when we were just dating. It was shorter because of his PCS, but it was so heart wrenching. I stayed strong for my kiddo, but I had issues sleeping, eating, getting things done (which didn’t help with the broke foot), and just trying to keep on truckin’.

We were fortunate enough to be able to spend our 1 year anniversary together, and then shortly after all of our goods were packed up, and we were on our way to South Dakota to visit prior to the big move. We spent the entire month of November in SD, and loved every moment of it! Then, we made the super long trek to Hawaii.

That was by far the longest and most stressful plane ride I have ever been on, but once again the kiddo was a trooper. 7 hours from South dakota to Los Angeles, then a 5 hour nap at the USO (thank god for those little places), than a long 6 hour straight flight to Hawaii. Now, as much as the kiddo and I fly now, I admit I’m not very good on planes. I’m terrified of hights, and have a great fear of flying, but I did manage to crochet 4 hats on that flight 🙂 luckily they didn’t trash my hooks.


When we got to Hawaii, it was a week of stays in hotels and cottages waiting for a house to come up. We ended up finding a house out on the town since the wait list was 4 months, and I refused to have Christmas in a hotel. All our household goods were delivered the next day, and we were lucky enough to be able to pick up our car (we shipped the month prior) the day we landed.

So far, it is odd living here. The people and the culture are not what I expected at all, and actually many of the islanders are very unfriendly towards the “Haole” or outsiders. I have run into quite a few that are extremely nice and very helpful, but the farther inland you get, the meaner they get, and then I saw why. But that is for another time.


Soon we will have our dog shipped out here, Rayne is enrolling in T-ball and peewee hockey (I know right?) and the hubby is settling in nicely at his new station. I’m just grateful that no more deployments are to come for 3 years…. as long as nothing bad happens.

Promise to keep up on this blog this time, once I remembered I had it I realized I had completely forgotten to update it since my hubby got back from FEX.

so in all we had



Deployment/trip home

broken foot/ Overseas Screening

End of Deployment



Home for Thanksgiving

and then Moved to Hawaii.
SIGH so much…

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